Adam Has a Podcast Episode 23; Happy Halloween

*intro* Happy Halloween, even though I'm not posting this on Halloween and even though I have no real way of ensuring that you will see the this on Halloween. Happy Halloween. And although you have no way of seeing me, I decided to wear my Halloween costume, just for the fun of it, just to help me get into the spirit a little bit more. I have really long blonde hair at this point and a really big bushy beard. So my options were a caveman or adult Finn. And I just rewatched Adventure Time, so I decided to go with adult Finn. I bought the hat. I already had a blue shirt, I got blue pants, b bing b, buta boom. I'm the adult F. And the cool part is, too, is my skateboard actually has a sword on it, so that's that's my Finn sword for my costume. I think I'm just going to go. Last year I went to the Hollywood Halloween like parade or whatever. They shut down a couple of streets and they line everything with like stages and decorations. It's pretty fun last year. So I think I might go back to that again. I also did some day of the Dead stuff last year that I can't exactly remember where I went, but I think I'm going to try and do some of that stuff again, too. Halloween really centers around tradition. So as I was kind of going through what I would talk about for this one, I started looking into my own Halloween traditions that I do every single year, ever since I was a little kid. And one of them is actually really funny. Halloween is so important to me that every single year around Midsummer, July to late summer, August, I have a nightmare that it's Halloween and I don't have a costume. And I have to do some kind of crazy, it changes sometimes. It's like a crazy like run to the Halloween store or like, um, you know, put together a crazy costume. I have to do some kind of crazy thing to come up with a costume. Like every single year, and I have this nightmare right around the same time of the year. That's how I'm no, like subconsciously like, oh yeah, Halloween's coming, you know, it's that time of the year again. It's actually crazy. I don't even think that there like was a Halloween that I didn't have a costume. And like maybe one when I was like maybe like five. But even then I dressed up as an army guy. I just didn't want to be an army guy. I couldn't make up my mind on what I wanted to be for Halloween. So it like came Halloween day. And I was like, I don't know what? And then so they just dressed me up as an army guy and I didn't I didn't want to be that.. And maybe that's where the trauma was born. That's why I have that nightmare every single year to get my Halloween costume, or else I'll end up being something that I don't want to be. Is that an analogy for a greater operation of life and striving towards your goals? Holyy crap. I just kind of figured that out talking that out. But yeah, when I was little, I would go trick or treating every year. That was the thing to do. But I as you grow up, you can't, you feel weird growing trick or treating. You can still go trick or treating. You just feel weird. I think right around like 16, 17, 18, it was when I decided, I think I took my nieces and my niece and nephews out for trick or treating. and I felt weird. I was like, this isn't right. This was strange. I was like, 18. And I was just doing it so I could get candy, but there was like mad adults in the party, so felt odd. I didn't want to do it anymore. But then I started looking forward towards handing out candy, because I always lived on a street that there was never really any kids growing up, and it was kind of creepy looking, so nobody ever walked down it and it was off of a main drag. You would assume that kids would be brought in by the main track, but no. Never got to hand out candy growing up. So when I moved to Boston and got my own apartment, I was so excited. I thought I lived in like an area that there would be trick or treaters. waited, like all day, dude, by the door with a bowl of candy. Nobody rang the doorbell. I was so sad. So then when I moved again to California, I thought the same shit, spent all day waiting with the bowl of candy. and nobody came. So I just left a bowl of candy outside of my door at like, 6 o'clock, and I decided to go out. I went to the Halloween parade, I walked around for a few hours. I came back home later that night, expecting at least like a piece of candy to be gone. None. perfectly untouched. So I don't know if I'll ever get to do that in my life. It just seems to not pan out for me, even though it's one of those things that I've always wanted, I've always wanted to like hand out candy and have fun, but nope, I just keep choosing the wrong places to to live. But still, last year I didn't carve a pumpkin, but I think maybe the year before I carved a pumpkin. Normally, every year you carve a pumpkin, you know, put a scary face on it, put a candle on it. That's one of the best parts of Halloween. You get the freshly roasted pumpkin seeds, you get to have fun, like drawing out your design. And usually if you''re like doing it with other people, you get to have fun, like just doing it together, parallel play type shit. Obviously decorate too. Like how are people going to know come to your house for Halloween candy if you don't decororate, right? So decorating was always like a big deal to me because I thought if I just was a good decorator, then we would get at least one or two trick or treaters. So I I always like tried to go ham, especially when I was younger, like decorating the outside of my house with my family and stuff to try and like lure her in the trick ortreaters, but nobody ever wanted to come down the street. It's too scary. It's too out of the way, Too weird. Didn't want to do it. But I also, the entire month of October, you know, you tend to, I tend to change up. my regular scheduled television. I really only fuck with those Scooby-Doo movie cartoons that came out in like the mid to late 90s and early 2000s. So every year I'll go on a witch hunt for Scooby Doo and the Witch's Curse. I'll go looking for that movie' because I love that movie. That was like, dude, they had the Hex Girls. That was like my first like, oh my God, I'm in love with a cartoon girl. And it was also based in Massachusetts. So I thought that shit was sick. I love that. I was like, yo, shout out Massachusetts. So every year I try to watch that movie. Pretty much any movie, Scooby-Doo movie from like the late 90s, early 2000s, like the curse of the zombiebie Island one. That was a good one. The Cyberchase one, dude, when they get sucked into the computer game, that one, dude, that I love that one. That one's like burned into the core of my memory. A few years ago, I remembered it again and I was like, dude, I need to watch it now. And I went and I found it and I was like, dude, this is awesome. Hocus Pocus? Who could forget Hocus Pocus, dude? That's like one of the most classic Halloween movies. When I was a little kid, it was a little scary, but now that I'm an adult, I'm like, I fucking love this movie. It's funny. It's hilarious. It's got suspense. Great Halloween movie. I tend to veer away from horror movies, but a lot of other people really like horror movies. Like Halloween is literally a horror movie for Halloween time. Like Freddy Cougar, you know, Nightmare on Elm Street. There's also like Final Destination and Saw and the Terrifier. I think they came out with like the third movie in the installment. Dude, Terrifier sucked, bro. I hate that fucking clown, man. I saw the first movie because people were watching it in the common area of my dorm and I decided, like, you know, don't be a weirdo, socialize. Like, get outside of your comfort zone. I know you don't like watching horror movies, but like, they're hanging out here and they're always watching scary movies together. So, you know, try to socialize. Fuck that, dude. I was watching that movie and I was like, why? Why did they make this a movie? Why the fuck is this a movie? What the fuck? Like, dude, I just, it made me so deeply terrified. I didn't like it. That was one of those times where I was like, you know what? This reinforces my belief that I will not watch scary movies anymore. But yeah, some people like to watch scary movies over the Halloween time. I also like to rewatch the regular show. Dude, Loki regular show got mad, good Halloween episodes. I love watching the Halloween episodes where like they're going through some kind of terrifying event. Last one I remember was like Planet Fear. They're telling a story about this planet Fear and it's a planet where all of your fears come to life. It's just so fucking funny, dude. That show is just great overall. I also really like it because like I'm 24 now. It's about like a 23 year old and a 24 year old fucking blue jay and a raccoon. You know, I kind of look at it differently now than I'm adult. I can like, see like some of the like stoner jokes that were hidditting in it. So it's kind of more fun to look back on it again as an adult, but pretty much every October, I'm like, hmm, I should rewatch regular show again. That's kind of like the tradition that I've built up for myself. And that's like what all Halloween is really about. It's the tradition of celebrating loved ones past and the world of the supernatural. A lot of people say that Halloween is a concernspiracy made up by the candy companies. Most notably Max from Hocus Pocus. That was the first time I ever heard that. Halloween is a conspiracy made up by the candy companyies. But in the late 1950s, they started actually doing a marketing campaign to hand out candy as like the thing to hand out when trick or treaters came to your door. Because trick or treating has been a thing for. In my notes, it says around 19th century ish is when it came to America and around the ninth century is when it started in like Scotland, Ireland area. and back then they used to call it ging. They would dress up like fairies or monsters or whatever, and they would go to door to door to door reciting poems for bits of food or little treats. And they would dress up like monsters or fairies and stuff because they were celebrating a solstice event in the year in Scotland and Ireland. And they actually had four of these holidays that they would celebrate around the solstices or around the changing of the seasons. So Halloween is called Sam Hain, and that's their like fall festival towards like the harvest, the bringing in the harvest, and it's the darker part of the year. They also have. I'm going to butcher this shit out of this. Lun, Lugese, Lug, which is the winter festival. It's their winter solstice festival. They have embolique, embic. Imbolic, Ibac, which is spring. This is Celtic, so I got weird pronunciations. That's why I'm trying it so many ways. If I'm right, and if you know if I'm right, let me know that. down the comments below. And then, so Imbolic was spring and Beltane is summer. But it's during Sam Hain and Imbolic that they believe that these are times of the year that the veil between this world and the other world is thin. So, because the veil is thin, you're able to, you know, contact dead ancestors or like recently passed relatives. and fairies and trolls and goblins and stuff are able to cross into our world and snatch people away. And since they're, you know, out and about looking for people to snatch, you dress up to look like a goblin. So when the goblins come by, they just, hey, what's up, Joe? Oh, nothing, goblin, Jeff. Great. So they have a long-standing tradition of gising and celebrating the fall equinox within Scotland and Ireland. Now, this is where I get a little speculative, because from the research that I did, they said, sometime around the ninth century, which would be around the year 800, Christianity moved into Ireland in Scotland, and that is when Sam Hayne was Christianized to All Saints Day, or All Hallows Day. And All Saints Day, All Hows Day falls on November 1st. So October 31st is All Saints Day Eve or All Hows Eve. Those are Christianized versions of the holiday of Sam H Hayne, and they say that happens sometime around the ninth century, but if you know about Catholicism and Christianity and all that stuff, you note that St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland in the year, like, 433 A.D. So that places the religion of Christianity on the the island of Ireland 400 years before they say that the holiday of Sam Hain was Christianized. I'm not a historian. I don't know numbers and stuff. That's just, you know, because, you know, you celebrate St. Patrick's's Day, you got to know the history of St. Patrick's Day, and then you celebrate Halloween, so you got to know the history of Halloween. It's like these two facts kind of negate each other because if the Christianization happened in the ninth century, then what the hell was St. Patrick doing there 400 years ago, you know? But nonetheless, a lot of holidays are actually subject to that Christianization. As soon as Christianity kind of sweeps over and takes power in the area, all of the holidays that were thereby before, so the church knows the importance of community and celebration. They're not going to take those away. They're going to absorb it under a different name. And then they're going to make you celebrate how they want to celebrate, which is the same way that you wanted to celebrate, just under a different name now. And that happened with Sam Hayne, but it also happened to the Aztecs. So that's the other half of Halloween. is Dia Dios Muertos. That's All Saints Day. And that's usually celebrated in Mexico, pretty heavily. From what I hear, I haven't been there. I ain't gone yet. Sounds pretty cool, but what I have seen here in L.A has been pretty cool. Like, I think last year I went and I saw a whole bunch of mariachi bands in a plaza and then they did a whole little parade through the plaza and they had a figurine and it was cool and they stopped in the gazebo and then they had a whole little concert and it was like, wow, that's pretty fun. But that's like the community coming together. And then you go and you walk around the plaza and everybody from the community has made these offfriendas of like, you know, their families or I think there was one from Coco, the movie, about the Id Los Muertos. I also usually, since it came out, have watched Coco, but it makes me cry too much, so I don't think I want to watch Coco this Halloween. That movie tugs, bro. Heart strings, guitar strings. They're tugging. But the Aztecs, long before Christian emissaries from Spain came to Mexico or that area, the Aztecs actually devoted two whole 20 day long months in their calendar just towards venerating and celebrating their dead. They actually had a lot of holidays to celebrate their dead. One of them being. Quitc, this is another one of those that I'm going to butcher, but I'm so sorry..i. Qui Qui? Quick, qui. Q-U-ECL. and that was a holiday celebrating Mixo katl, mo katl Mixo kat. M-IXCO, with a little line over the top. ATM. Mual. M. the god of war. And that was celebrated between October 20th and November 8th. So they were celebrating that God of war and all of the enemies that they have slain and all of the warriors that they have lost. And they had a very, like, brutalistic interpretation of like bones to pick just one symbolism. So like bones to them were a great source of like power over your enemy. Like I'm parading around my enemy's bones. They give me power because I defeated them. And then I was reading that it said in the like attempt at Christianizing these artifacts, they would take something like a skull from a an altar and then put it in a holy water fountain. So then it would be having holy water port over it. So they would stop being signs of like brutalism and authoritarianism and power and they became like memento mori. And that was like how the church kind of tried to take their normal longstanding traditions and then Christianize them a little bit, make them understand like, oh, you're coming over to our side no matter what. But in current day, Latin America, and actually a few other places all over the world, they celebrate all Saints Day on November 1st, and that is usually seen as a holiday designated for the children. And on November 2nd, they celebrate All Souls Day, which more traditionally is a holiday designationated for the adults. And this tradition is actually reminiscent of those two 20 day long months that I described before. Those two months, the ninth month, and the 10th month of the, I think it's like 13th month-long Aztec calendar 13 to 18. I think the 13 is 13 months months for religious reasons and 18 months for civil reasons. I'm pretty sure.. But this is religious. So it's a holiday. Of the Aztecs, 13 months, the ninth and 10th months are designated towards venerating the dead. And the ninth month is for the children, and the 10th month is for the adults. So you can see how that tradition was kind of absorbed and assimilated and shortened down to just being two days. November 1st, all Saints Day and November 2nd, All Souls Day. They call that kind of absorption and assimilation of ideas syncretism. Syncretism is basically like convergent evolution if you think about it biologically. So convergent evolution is when two different species, totally and maybe on different sides of the world, but experiencing similar pressures, evolve similar traits, but are not related at all, maybe because they're not two different sides of the earth. But say humans evolving hands and raccoons having hands isn't really a good example because we have a common ancestor that probably had marsupial like hands. Maybe something like hummingbirds evolving a long probisccous tongue and bees evolving a long probisccous tongue. Those two species have nothing to do with each other, but they both evolve the same kind of body part to be able to drink nectar from the flower. And that is what's really cool about Halloween is that almost every culture all around the world has developed some kind of of holiday that celebrates the lives of past loved ones, but also sometimes celebrates the supernatural world as a whole. Almost every single culture has some holiday where they're celebrating, you know, a veil between the world's getting thinner. Maybe that's more so just Celtic religions and Gaelic religions. But nonetheless, even in Dia Di los Muertos, they believe that the veil between worlds is thin, and that's why they use marigolds to guide the spirits towards their homes and towards the ofriendas. So there's all over the world humans just keep developing this sense of we need to devote a day. Tori remembering everybody that we no longer have in our lives and anymore. And from scaring away all those things that will come and scare us in the past or the future or what have you. You can kind of look at the modern traditions of like watching scary movies. You go out of your way to scare yourself by watching a bunch of horror movies all night long on Halloween. You're up all night. You're terrified out of your shit. You just watched all three terrifiers. You can't fucking handle anything anymore. But you know what? Next day, the next day, the next day I after that, maybe a couple of days pass, you find that your tolerance to being scared is heightened. Either you might be a little bit more jumpy at things, or you might just not be scared at all. There's kind of like two ways that heightened scare response can go. Either you're like scared by everything or you're not really scared anymore. It takes more to scare you because you're your scare threshold was pushed higher or it takes less to scare you because, you know, you're in such scared state that anything can spook you. And horror movies kind of give you like a safe environment, sort of, to kind of approach a threshold which you never normally would want to approach. in real life. And I think that kind of threshold for your scareability level like how scared you are, like, how kind of nervous or on edge you are. I think that is kind of what they mean when they say the veil between worlds is thinner. Because if you're like, you know, a little bit spooked out and then the candle flickers and you're like, Timothy, was that you flickering the candle? there? And then it flickers again. You're like, ah, ah, you start freaking out, running around your house and you're like, Timothy, he's here. I don't. I'm trying to do some kind of British accent. I don't even fucking know. But you get my point, though, right? Even with that Aztec holiday that I said a moment ago that I'm not going to attempt to pronounce again, that celebrated their God of war that I' said before, I'm not going to attempt to pronounce again, you can still kind of see parallels of like how that heightened state of fear has like kind of morphed into a tradition because maybe this guy's like a warlord that was, you know, constantly raiding the town. And then they finally got him. They finally put the war to an end. And they have his bones and his skeleton and they parade it through town every year just to keep showing people, yeah, he's still fucking dead. Don't worry about it. Don't be scared. He's still dead. He's right here. He's not going to come back and get you. We got his fucking bones. He can't do nothing. His spirit is bound to the bones. He can't fucking do shit. We got his bones, man. That kind of, like, heightened state of fear, though, that like, this dude was so terrifying that we don't even want his spirit to get his bones because we don't want to face the war that he brought down upon our people. Again. man, that speaks volumes. That's like the same exact emotion as like going and digging up your grandma on Sam Hayne and opening up the burial mounds so that the spirits of your loved ones can walk freely to and fro their home into the spirit world. It's the same kind of concept where it's like, oh man, the loss of this person, this person's life, not being in my life anymore has changed me. So now this is a holiday that I focus on that aspect. And for the Celtics and the Gaelics, that aspect that they wanted to focus on was how much they loved the person and the loss that they may feel when they don't feel that person closer anymore. So they want to experience that love close again. But for the Aztec holiday, it was like that person made them experience fear. So now that they're not in their lives anymore, they don't experience as much fear. So they remember this person's dead so that they can find peace in themselves. Both kind of lead you to finding peace. You find peace with the loss of loved ones, because you know that you have a day once a year, that you'll remember them, you'll open up their barrial mounds and they'll be able to come into your house just like nothing ever changed and you still feel their love. And it kind of brings you peace because it feels like they'll always be there and they never really kind of left. But on the other hand, the Aztec tradition is like, dude, we're glad this guy is gone. We are glad that we don't have war anymore and they celebrate and give thanks to their God of war that they now have peace because of the absence of these certain people. Both holidays help the people find a sense of peace within death, although they approach it very differently. And as the Christian Church started to take over the world, they saw how these religious festivals and how these holidays that they celebrated locally contributed towards stronger, happier communities. And so they kind of absorbed these holidays. Or maybe some people say that syncretism occurred and the holiday of All Hollow, All Saints Day evolved alongside these traditions. But there's also a lot of evidence suggesting that every time Christianity encountered a new religion or a holiday, that they would then absorb some of the quality of that holiday and claim it as some already preexisting tradition. And I believe this was all done in the attempt to make transitioning over to Christianity a little bit easier on the localized traditions and religions. They would just say, oh, it's already part of our religion. It's what do you mean? You guys, us, you, we're all doing the same thing. And I think that's probably kind of the problem with Christianity. Loki is that there is a lot of synchrism that goes on. But that's also the good thing, I guess, with Christianity is that you could just go around and be like, yeah, we're just talking about the same guy. It's it's all the same thing. It's really easy to just be like, yeah, if it's only one thing, it's only one guy. But then even then, all of the Abrahamic religions were then like, it's just one guy, but we're praying to the people that have like talked to that guy. And I supposedly different people have talked to that guy over time. And who you believe talks to that guy, that's who we're worshiping. That shit's kind of fucked up. It's one guy, dude. It's one guy. I think that's what made it so easy for Christianity to swoop in and be like, well, we're talking about Zeus. Yeah, okay, we're also talking about Zeus, but we're talking about Harrow too. Yeah, we're also talking about Harrow. They're all one guy. See, every time this one guy is needed for a specific task, he just comes down in a different form. B da bang, ba boom, you just got all the polytheistic people on your side because they're like, "Oh, he's just one step above. I get it. But yeah, a lot of Christianity was about absorbing and assimilating, not only just destroying, but also like, hey, let's assimilate some of these qualities, too. I was also a lot crusading that went on. But largely nowadays, Halloween is considered like a Christian holiday. People consider All Hallowows Eve and all Saints Day, a Christian holiday, and Halloween is based off a really Scottish pronunciation of All Hallows Eve. So, of course, Halloween is Christian, right? But Halloween is worldwide, bitch. It's 2024. Halloween is gone global, motherfucker. Halloween, I knew this as like a fact when I was little. I was like, dude, you don't celebrate Halloween everywhere. And I was really upset by that. And I just went and I Googled it and I was like, where did they celebrate Halloween around the world? And I did find out it's gone worldwwide. They celebrate it in Japan, mostly as adults. Adults stress up and go out clubbing and shit. And they also celebrate it in like Eastern Europe as more of a religiousious All Hollows Day, All Saints Day. But because of the internet, the popularity of just dressing up and going out for candy has been like rising up higher and higher or even just dressing up for the day. And I think like dressing up is like the best part of Halloween because I don't know, as a kid, you, you like dress up as what you want to be when you grow up. Sometimes, sometimes you can just, you can dress up as whatever you want. That's the coolest part. You're not, you know, constrained to any one box. And I think that's what threw me through a loop when I was little. I was like, there's too much. I want to be a werewolf, vampire, Grim Reaper. And that's like three costumes, dude. That's way too much money. But it's just like, my mind just had, was so like, oh my God, I could be anything. The same thing happens to me when I try to pick a career. Oh, my God, I could be anything. Um, that's why I just, I couldn't make a decision that one year and it left a scar on me that makes me have a Halloween nightmare every single year around August, where I have to put together a Halloween costume at the last minute right before something. Crazy as fucking shit. But yeah, you know, you can dress up as who you want to be when you're older. And then you sometimes you're looking around at like a uniform is just a costume, dude. Like people that wear uniforms to work, they're wearing fucking costumes. That's who they chose to dress up as every day. You also dress up as shit like a Power ranger. You dress up as a fucking dragon if you want. You can be a wizard. Like, your imagination is your only limitation on Halloween. And I think that's just like such an inviting and exhilarating kind of proposition to a child. You're like, dude, I could be anything. I want to be a unicorn, robot, fucking noodle. And if you could figure out how to put it together, you could put it together. I used to have the craziest costume ideas. I never figured out how to put them together. So I just stopped having these craz costume ideas, and now I got lazy once, like caveman or adult Finn, because I have a long beard and long hair, too. What the fuck, man? I used to think of like, I could build a robot costume out of cardboard. Why have I never been a robot then? I'm 24, almost 25 now. I have yet to really, like, build a Halloween costume. Like I thought I would when I was little. Maybe next year, that'll be my goal. I'll really just fucking hamper down. That's what I always say. Maybe next year I'll do it. Maybe next year I'll get it better. I'll do it better. Last year I was monkey Dee Loofy. All I did was wear a hat. This year, I'm fininn the human. All I'm doing is wearing a hat. Fuck, dude. All my costumes just consist of wearing hats. But when I was little, I actually used to spend like the entire month of October wearing my costume. I noticed, like, dude, I have not really done that soon growing up. I haven't done that since I was like 12, maybe. And so this month, I actually specifically, this time I specifically picked a costume that was just a hat, so I could force myself to wear it all month long to perform a kind of like Halloween experiment on myself. Like, did it make me feel did it really make me feel that much better about myself wearing my costume everywhere as I thought it did as a little kid? Did it really make me stand out that much? Was it really that much of a like part of my personality that I like never really kind of recognized or acknowledged and kind of tucked away? Is that like, something? So I forced myself to wear the fin hat and like some variation of a blue shirt, almost like every day. And I noticed, I got a lot of compliments, dude. A lot of people smiled at me. A lot of people were happy happy. A lot of people were like, yeah. It was actually kind of fucking cool. I was like, wow, I'm actually like actively bringing a little bit more enjoyment because I decided to try and enjoy myself a little bit more by wearing this hat every day. And I'm actually like bringing that enjoyment to other people's lives and I'm able to see it in real time and it's real and it's right there in front of me. Cool. I'm going to give you a thumbs up and a smile. Thanks for a compliment on the hat. But it's a white hat, and I stained it the other day. And I just had a freak out, dude. I got bit by a spider. I think we're not supposed to have hobo spiders here, but, dude, I got bit by a hobo spider or, like, a brown recluse or fucking, like a black widow. I got bit by something nastycause I had a big, old, painful lump on the back of my neck. And it took me all day to notice it after it happened. Like, I noticed it at night, and I was like, dude, what the fuck is that? And I started freaking out. But it fucked with my head, dude. I was like breaking up palm leaves, and I guess maybe we might have disturbed a nest or something. And I maybe right around the time that it bit me, I got really just agitated all of a sudden. And then the hat fell off, and it's a white hat, and I stained it and I got so fucking mad, and I was so pissed. I got the stains out. It's fine. It looks brand new again. It looks pretty, but just something inside of me kind of just like broke. I don't know. I was just like, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm freaking out over a hat. Turns out I was bit by a spider. And how confused I was makes me think it was a hobo spider. I was just fucking out of it, dude. I couldn't put thoughts together. And like, I know what a cloud of confusion feels like, and this felt. like a storm cloud. It felt like a hurricane of confusion. I could feel it like separating thoughts sometimes. And I was like, fuck, I didn't want to just lose that thought. And it's crazy to think that a spider bite can cause all of that. Maybe also, if it wasn't a hobo spider, it was just a really bad allergic reaction to a brown recluse or a black widow. So I've taken penadryl, like, every single day since it happened.. But yeah, dude, I was super confused, lost a bracelet, and some I'm just kind of clicking and I was like, I don't want to fucking wear anything. I don't need to wear necklaces. I don't need to wear bracelets. I don't need to wear hats. I don't need all of this extra accessory jewelry shit that I keep putting on myself every single day. What the fuck? It's starting to drown me. And because it was like, I was super confused and the necklaces around my neck and I could feel the bracelets, and then I lost a bracelet and I I was like, so upset. And I was just like, fuck it. I'm not wearing jewelry anymore. I'm not wearing anything. I'm just doing not even a hat. So the last couple days, I haven't even really worn the fininn hat, even though I'm supposed to. But, um today I did notice that my hair is quite voluminous. My beard is quite luscious, and I am in a beautiful, upstanding young gentleman who has a very tantalizing face. And if I don't hide it, people smile at me, no matter what. So it's not the hat, it's the person inside the hat. It's the heart in the hat. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't wearing the thin hat all month long that was making people, you know, smile at me and look at me different. It was the fact that I was doing something that I wanted to do and I was confident in myself and I was just happy and solid in who I was. For some reason, the spider bite just made me so just confused and out of it that I just I needed to find solace in my own self, and I needed to ground myself in what is me and who I am, and kind of figure out the conundrum that was going on, 'cause I was like, dude, why am I so confused like this? I hate it. it's been a few days now, and I actually, like, my head feels a lot clearer now because I was trying to overcome all that venom. And now that all the venom's kind of out of my system, the blister kind of pops. There's only just a little bolus back there still. But now that my body's not having to overcompensate to fight the venom, I feel a little bit more clear headed.. Things kind of make sense to me a little bit. Maybe I got some spotter senses. Maybe I got me some spider powers there. But yeah, that was scary. That was some Halloween terror for me. I was like, dude, I'm going to die. This isn't cool. I've never I'm from Massachusetts. I've never been bit by a spider that can do that shit to you. And the next day, so I wore like the same flannel to bed. And the next day I woke up and I took the flannel off to take a shower and fucking baby spider fell off of me. Maybe it was in my hair or whatever, but that definitely signifies to me that we disturbed a nest and I got bit by a mama spider. Um But yeah, Halloween experiment turned out to be a life lesson experiment into just doing what you want to do and being confident in your actions and in who you are and yourself. And not even being confident, just being solid, dude. Like, I needed to find my solid again. I was like, I am not even on solid ground with this spider bite thing going on. So I needed to find my solid again. And maybe that's what all hollows Eve, all saintss Day, Halloween is all about. It's fine. You' solid ground again. You know, maybe you suffered loss throughout the year. Maybe, you know,, your crop. was great. Maybe you do have something to be happy about. You're bringing in your harvest. Your crop was amazing. But, you know, you lost Skippert over the summer to whatever have you. And so you're pulling in that harvest and you're remembering, man, this shit was so much easier when I had Skipper here. and you're in the field pulling in the harvest, thinking, "Oh man, I wish Skipper was here. Maybe you're getting a little bit upset. and then you find that the work gets a little bit easier. You get it done faster than you thought you were going to get it done. You turn back and you look, hmm. Maybe that was Skipper out there helping me pull in the harvest just one last time. I hope you have a very happy and safe Halloween this year. Go out ging, tricking and treating, treating and tricking, doing tricks for treats and tricking treats for tricks. But have fun. Be safe. Look both ways crossing the street. Don't take any drinks from anybody dressed like Pill Cosby. If you're a fan of the show and you dress up this Halloween tag me on Instagram, Adam has a podcast. and maybe I'll go through and I'll choose the best costumesume out of all two of my fans, maybe one of them will dress up. Boom, bda bing, butda boom, you're a winner. I don I don't know what you'll win. Just bragging rights. mainly.. I don't know. I'm trying to build a community, because as I said in the beginning, it seems like All Hollows Eve, All Saints Day Halloween is all about community. So have a happy Halloween. Adam has a podcast community and keep it easy out there.