Adam Has a Podcast Episode 40; D.A.R.E. to say NO

This one time when I was like 18, ish, I smoked weed with a bunch of people. Now, this wasn't an unusual occurrence. I typically have my normal smoke and weed group. But this time, it was like one or two people from the usual group, and we decided to invite in some people that we typically have never smoked weed with. Because we thought it would be a fun experience, but like, we're just smoking with each other all the time, kind of, you know, getting bored of each other. Let's add some spice to this relationship.. Bring in some outside parties. So we started smoking with these other young adults. That's something that always bothers me. When people call somebody that's like 18, a kid, fucking used to happen all the time. But there really is a there's a difference. There's a huge difference. You got to call them young adults. They're not teenagers, they're not kids, they're young adults. And me and this group of young adults decided to come together and make a decision to smoke some marijuana. It was all fine and dandy until one of them started to freak the fuck out. He was going like, "Make it stop! Make it stop!" And me. having been to the seasoned professional who has gone through my fucking make it stop phase, except mine was different. Mine put me greened me out. When I got greened out, I would pass out and I would be in this senseless place. Like, not like senseless senseless where. It was like being the most as sleepiest as sleep that I've ever been.. It's like, everything around me was black, and I couldn't hear anything, I couldn't smell anything, I couldn't taste anything, I couldn't touch anything. I was just conscious awareness in this, like, black environment. But, I wouldn't be able to, like control my body. That was the big problem. Sometimes I would like, pass out and then I'd be stuck. And then I'd be inside my brain and I' be like, oh, I'm stuck. And sometimes I would end up throwing up a whole bunch, because I'd get so dizzy and I'd throw up. But what he was having was a psychic event, a mental event.. Because this was his second time smoking marijuana. Typically, the second time time you smoke marijuana is the craziest tie you'll get. because your body is aware of what the substance is in all the places that it fits, but not yet, it doesn't yet have a tolerance to it. So you get crazy fucking high. And I don't think he knew that first off. And.. second off, um. marijuana has this like capability of somehow unlocking. Empathy or like this kind of parasasympathetic nervous system where you start suddenly picking up a lot more cues from your environment. And he was having like Q overload and it sucks because I could see, not like literally a fucking physical manifestation, but like I could see situationally, I had the situational awareness to know exactly what the fuck was messing with him, but I didn't have enough personal belief in myself. Enough, like. There's like a R word that I can't think of right now. But it's kind of like gumption. Ralph Esteem. I didn't have enough.. Gumption. I'm going to go with that one. That one feels the best to speak up and be like commandant of the situation, say like, yo, pull the car over. Let's go to we need to stop at that field right there. We don't need to go to a park. We need to stop at the closest peaceful place that there is. We all need to get out of the car. He needs to sit down on the ground by himself, and we need to separate ourselves for just like a couple minutes by five or so feet. and we all need to quiet our minds because all of our minds are chattering away and it's creating this energetic noise that he is now sensitive to. I don't know how to fucking explain that. And I was trying to just do it within my own mind. Like, hold on, I can do this. Because I didn't realize that I wasn't the only one whose mind was also racing. I assumed that everybody else's mind in the car. was empty. So I didn't think to tell them, "Hey, guys, empty your mind. Stop thinking about everything." Which is like an empty your mind. Sounds fucking stupid and hit you like, but like, not, man. Just stop thinking, because you're creating energy and that energy's traveling out. And I tried fucking. Like, I remember in the moment hearing something in my head and responding to something in my head. And then he freaked out out loud, and I was like, oh, fuck, okay. I was like, shit. Because he started freaking out in this psychic sphere. And I started hearing something like, oh, my God, I can't handle it. And I was like, just take a deep breath and calm down. And then that's when he was like, I can't handle it. Out loud. And I was like, chill out. We can do this. Yeah, wow. I totally forgot about that, um. Like, internal conversation beforehand. Wow, because that guy killed himself afterwards. Oh, wow. And it was just like I was there again in the car for a moment. And I was just that person again. And he was just alive for a moment. And I was just like, yeah, let me go talk to him. But now I can't 'cause he's dead.'Cause he killed himself, 'cause he couldn't handle the brain. I don't even know what was going on, because I didn't really talk to him. He didn't really talk much. I thought it was weird that he was hanging out with me at all in the first place, because he fucking cut me off at first, so I was like, you're just hanging out with me because I'm the weed smoking guy and you want to smoke weed. So.. But, you know what's interesting is the realization that not I wasn't aware of everybody's thoughts in the car, just his. is indicative of something else, that maybe it's not psychic, maybe it's some kind of delusional thing. Or maybe we're only tuned into certain certain kinds of waves based upon our experiences and stuff, and he was given off a particular kind of wave that I'm well adapted handling. So I perceived it and understood it. But to the others, this wave was very misunderstood. They were like, we don't know what the fuck to do. And I was like, well, we're in a moving box full of people. That's going to make anybody spok and we freak out. That was like one of my biggest gripes, too. When I like greened out, my second time smoking weed. I wanted them to just stop and staying at one fucking spot. They were driving me around all fucking crazy like. I didn't have enough wherewithal to tell them. stop. I need to fucking stop for a minute and just sit here. Nobody's fucking chasing us. Nobody fucking gives a shit that there's some kid smoking weed. That's the thing about weed, though, is it makes you you paranoid and then everybody's like, we're being chased. We gotta get the fuck out of here. Meanwhile, it's like, nah, man, just sit here for a fucking minute. And I was gaining out and I didn't have enough energy, but I knew what I wanted. So they started pulling away and I fucking like took mustard up all of my strength and like thought I was slamming the car and into park being like, no, stop. But all I got to was reverse. Like, I couldn't make it. I didn't have no fucking energy to make it to park. I pushed the fucking shit shifter because I didn't want to move. I didn't want to move from that spot. The fucking feeling to move was completely unnecessary, and I needed to figure out what was happening inside of my head, and the more they moved me around, the more I couldn't figure it out. I was just about to get to figure it out. That's because we were out of red light and then we started moving again. And I was like, no, fuck, stop. There's too much fucking momentum. There's too much fucking forces acting upon my body right now for my fucking brain to calculate. In addition to also calculating what the fuck THC is. I've always been mad about that.. Low key, because it's like that made the experience so much worse than what it could have been. And that was what was happening to him. We were tightly packed in a car with a bunch of fucking brains going off, a bunch of fucking sweaty pheromones firing out. He was getting overwhelmed because his brain was like me to figure this out. And I was like, dude, I know exactly what the fuck was going on. Listen to me, because when your brain is like, I need to figure something out. And somebody said that I know exactly what the fuck is going on. That's going to help you feel comfortable with what the fuck is going on. If you're uncomfortable with what the fuck is going on. But if you're so uncomfortable with what the fuck is going on, that you think that you're the only one experiencing it, and you're going to dismiss any outside help. You're like, "Nah, this is novel, this is new.. Nobody else has experienced this before. That's what TC does to your brain because you've never experienced it before. That's what anything new does to your brain. Chocolate, fucking a new type of food. Anything new. you eat it and your brain goes, oh, let me figure this out. The flavor, the fucking what's happening use my senses to figure this out. And in particular with drugs, it messes with the neurochemistry. So neurochemistry is how your brain forms thoughts and figures things out. And if something's messing with the neurochemistry, for the first time, it's going to be inherently difficult and you're going to think it has never been experienced by anybody else in the entire world. Meanwhile, it's just weed. And lots of people have experienced it in the same exact way. It's just a novel thing to you. It kind of closes your mind off a little bit, because you're like, "Nah, man, I'm the only whatever experience in this country of stuff ever. And it's like, nah, man, a lot of people experience these kinds of things all the time. But what that really kind of revealed to me is the pitfalls of believers, the fucking Chosen One dynamic. I'm the only one that could not in. A lot of people are the chosen one. That's why I like how the Lego movie did it. Like, it took the prophecy of being like, the one, and it was like, you're all the special, you know? You're all the special thing that makes things special because of what's special inside of you. And that's way more unifying than feeling like you're an outsider and you're the only one. Even if you're the outsider and you're the only one for a positive reason, that's still very alienating. But recognizing that you might be special, but everybody else is special too makes things a lot more playful and fun. and that was kind of an issue. was the playful environment within that vehicle was kind of going away and it was being replaced by, like, negativity. and negativity is one of those things where, like. It needs to find a ground, if that makes sense. So you ever realize that, like, in a group dynamic, it's never, like, oh, that whole group is toxic and negative. Within the group dynamic of itself, the group doesn't think that it's toxic or negative. So then they start, like, either one person will take it up upon themselves to be the negativity of the group. For the group's return against, they'll be the scapegoat of a group. One person might do that. They might choose to do that. But typically a group chooses the scapegoat because not everybody is willing to be like, I'm not going to be the villain of this group. to unify them into feeling like they're good people, not that doesn't make logical sense. So the group usually chooses subconsciously who they're going to fucking ostracize and then they pick that person to rally against or around. That's how, like,. free flowing negativity within a group will form. It will always find a ground, even if the person is being put on to isn't a negative person, isn't a negative influence within the group. But if you're an environment where everybody's kind of like. in a positive state, but there's this like. kind of negativity not within the group, but everywhere else outside of the group. Or maybe like... I shouldn't even say negativity. I should be like more like a strong energetic current. What's in the air. We also produce like energetic fields and stuff. So if you feel the field coming in, somebody who's going through that kind of stuff, their thing is to be like. increase their field's potential in response to the field. That's what was happening to him. was the lingering like energy in the vehicle, the electrical energy imparted with the fucking kinetic energy from movement, all these different kinds. different kinds of energy. Not just like electrical system of the vehicle, electrical system of your body. Like there's lots of different kinds of energy going on. chemical reaction, energy, fucking.. So, to say, like. one particular kind of, like energy was affecting the situation wouldn't be necessaryarily accurate to the situation. Wow, I gotta take a fat shit. Oh, my God. Yeah, all right, let's pause it. Whew! Let's talk about fucking negativity in the air. My tummy feels a lot better now. He's wrestling with that one. As soon as I pressed fucking record, I was like, great, now I have to shit. That's life, though. As soon as you start doing something, all these other things are going to pop up in your way. And that's kind of like what was happening in the situation in the car. Dude needed to take like an energetic dump. All the energy was piling up inside of his brain. He wanted it to stop. He was becoming an energetic receptacle of a group. And we didn't make a stop. We were just like. The driver was like, I guess I'm gonna bring you home now, Paul. And I was like, dude, you need to fucking stop for a second and relax, but we were driving, which drove him home, but even when he got home, like, he couldn't get out. And that's why I was like, that's exactly why home wasn't the ideal option. going for a walk would have been the ideal option, not even a walk, but like a sit somewhere. Then we ended up sitting there for a little bit, and like, one other person that wasn't a typical normal for the group, but was like, close to friends with him, decided to like, go and, like, watch him all night long. Like, went into his house and, like, slept over and watched over him. Which I thought was a little creepy. I was like, thathat's a little... You guys kind of have a weird relationship there. Yeah, a little fucking weird. Man, that's why this psychic shit is bad. That's why the brain fucking turns off most of the things. for transmission of waves through your body. Your brain kind of ignores most of it for the average person, because it's fucking difficult shit to deal with. It's difficult to fucking sort through and organize all of it. And quite frankly, the human condition wasn't designed to focus on those kinds of things. We're using the brain waves and stuff for one reason, and all that psychic stuff is like an accidentally included reason. I wouldn't say accidentally included, but it's like not the intended purpose of why we have brain waves. There could be some argument against that.. But I would also argue back that if the brain was truly supposed to be some kind of like sending and receiving thing that it wouldn't be encased inside of a metal., fuck it. Skull. Skull is Hermade calcium, calcium is technically a type of metal. metal is fucking insulating. not insulating, but conductive of energy. And can insulate it since it's a fucking. orb can insulate the brain from, you know, incoming waves. Probably ever soap. minutely, but enough dead. existence could happen, you know what I mean?. But it also could be argued, like, how did lines and a savannah communicate with each other? They might be using some kind of nonverbal communication. that might be consistent of brainways. We don't know. But, um.. It's really crazy because, like, your own emotional state, how you feel, can determine what hues you pick up. So if you feel extremely positive, you're gonna pick up positive cues where there aren't positive cues, which may make for more positive situations, but may also make for like awkward situations because you're reading things that's way more positively than they are. Like this one time I went to go tickle somebody that I was dating. And I went,um, yum, I was like on top of her, and I was tickling her. I'm going to eat you.. And it sounded like she was laughing, but... what was actually happening. And I was like, this is great. This is so fun. I love rolling around laughing. But then she snapped and went, stop! And I went, whoa. I put my hands off. I'm like, what the fuck?.. She started. She like, rolled around and she was like, like crying, and I was like, hololy shit, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that I was freaking you out. And that was the end of that relationship. I think also, when I got up and I was like, I know how to fix the situation and put on Baskki. case by Green Day. I think that was the nail in the coffin.. I don't even.. Was it basket case? I gotta look it up now. Do you have the time to listen to me whine About nothing and everything at once? It was that song, and I was like, I'm the whiner, but what I didn't realize is that she would perceive that she's the whiner. It's not always... Psychic and shit. And even, like, when you assume that you're psychic and shit, you're fucking misinginterpret shit all the time, dude, you can't fucking use it as you're one and only, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. That's why we have other fucking senses. That's why if we only needed one sense, the body would have only evolved one sense. Feel me on that one? If we only needed to see things in order to exist, then we would only see things, but we need to eat things so we can we move around and we have all these appendages so we can move shit and crap shit. We have mouths. We need to communicate that, hey, I'm hungry so I can get some of that food. So we have voices. We got fucking brains so we can think about it. Like, hmm, my tummy is kind of empty right now. I'm kind of hungry. You got fucking ears, so you can hear fucking loggage cream truck is rolling down the street. You got noses so you can follow the smell of some delicious food. It's not always food. You know what I'm saying? We have all these kinds of senses going on, and they're all checks and balances for each other. When something is confirmed by a multitude of senses, ask when something exists in your reality. For schizophrenic people or people that suffer from hallucinations and delusions, a reality check is something that they have to implement into their lives. Yeah, basket case by Green Green Day. I just Googled it. A reality check consists of something like, I just saw something out of the corner of my eye. So then you need to do your reality. check to confirm whether or not that's something that you saw in the corner of your eye was real. Some people, it's so bad that they have to take their phones out and record it and they go, that thing over there? Is that real? And they go and they watch it because the phone won't record a hallucination. They might be so deep in their hallucination. When they go to watch it, they see it within there. I don't think that there's ever been a report of that happening. it's mostly so you can go and you show it to another person, and the other person goes, yes or no. But you really want to perform this as a self assessment. You don't want to be reliant on having a caregiver, confirming or denying all the time.. My big thing is sound. I think I hear something so that then I investigate. And that might be just as simple as looking in the direction from which I have heard the sound. Oh, that's where the sound came from. sound is also created by like objects moving. I felt that in my foot because my foot is on the same desk that I dropped that on. So if you hear a sound, me personally, I start to pay attention to the seismic sense. I don't know what the fuck it's called, but the sense of feeling vibration through your environment. So it's like, my hand's here, and I not there. I can feel the vibration in my hand over here. I can also feel how I'm putting vibrations into the wall. I don't know what that fucking sense is called, but I use that as a reality check. So if I hear like a loud bang and I don't feel any kind of seismic wave vibration, and probably wasn't fucking real noise. Sometimes, I have, like... noise flashbacks. And I don't I have one theory that a really loud noise would be shaped like a squiggle. And when that squiggle enters your ear, it needs to deform these tiny hairs on the inside of your ear in order for your brain to encode it as electrical signals to then decode it it as sound. If a particular squiggle comes in and it deforms a hair in your ear in the exact shape of the particular squiggle. And then the hair gets stuck because there's lots of like wax. and maybe like a lot of pressure pushed it down, maybe, as there's more sound entering the ear canal. That sound wave can essentially get trapped like how that guy, I forget who was, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin. So one of them two guys. They created the first recording device, which was a cylinder of wax that a little needle scribbed into, and as you like talked into this apparatus, the needle would vibrate, and it would encode those vibrations in the wax cylinder. And then those vibrations on the wax cylinder could be played back on a different machine, and you could actually hear what was said into the wax. We've waxed in our ears. If that's the concept that there's fucking people on American pickers looking for those little tubes because they still exist and they're still holding sound to this day, but they're just so fragile 'cause they're made of wax. It's definitely possible, then, that your ear, with all of its wax and all of its little hairs that can are basically plastic in ability. Plastic as a not, not like fucking plastic. Plastic as in the scientific definition of the word of something that can be deformed and stuff like that, and shaped. And hairs can be deformed and shaped. Especially if you add wax to it. If I put some wax in my hair, I could get it to stand up like that. So that's a plastic kind of thing. When that hair then releases from its hold and returns back to its normal state, as it's deforming or reforming back into the shape of a hair and it's released from the wax, you may hear an echo of that sound. That's what I think personally. And it's not really necessarily an echo. It's like a really faint, far off, almost in your head kind of sound. Like, if you hear like a.. And then you'll hear that, like. It might be like hours and hours, hours and hours later, but it would be like.. You can't even really hear that. That's how, like. quiet it is. Can you even.. I can hear it when I go. I I go like that. And that's how quiet it will be within my own ear. That's why I'm like, hmm. And sometimes it's stuff that, like, people have said to me. and then it'll happen later on, like, in the night. when I'm relaxing, maybe after I just took a shower, all the wax is a little bit loose. That's when I'll start to hear those things. I' like, ting, ting, ting. The ears are fucking, the ear hairs are popping back. That's one theory of what it may be. It may also be like the brain misfiring a memory. So like I said, something that somebody said to me throughout the day, my brain misfires the memory backwards. So I'm thinking that I'm hearing it again, but I'm not actually hearing it. I'm just thinking that I'm hearing it. I'm thinking so deeply about hearing it that I almost heard it. And it's like myself reminding myself, hey, you heard this thing throughout the day. But it's reminding myself in such a way that it's almost like, you can definitely feel when some sounds are inside, some are coming from the ears. There's just a different feeling to them. Um. But like I said, though, you got a reality check, and that's what all of that really came from. When I hear those sounds, sometimes first reality check is well I'm going to a room by myself. There's no one that could have said that. You gotta use a logical reality check.. But sometimes people suffering from mental health conditions don't have those logical circuits in their brain. Those circuits are not accessible to them because of the neurochemical environment of their brain. For example, if you use nicotine, and then you go go about trying to quit nicotine. Nicotine is a dopamine antagnes. It stimulates it. But lots of other things stimulate the release of dopamine, like eating food and stuff like that. So if you go, I'm quitting this. Rain doesn't really realize that it's the vape that you're quitting. It thinks you're quitting dopamine. So then you kind of have this logical fallacy that dopamine is bad, but dopamine in and of itself is good. It's the abuse of dopamine through nicotine, which is bad. You have kind of low dopamine. It doesn't necessarily feel bad because it's leveling you out. It might actually even feel good.. That's.. what it does. It makes you feel kind of good about kind of tingly, a little bit energetic. But, um.. If you're experiencing it from the state of a deficit, it feels a lot more. Normalizing, if that makes sense. Deficit means that you know what a normal level of dopamine is. But if you keep jacking up your normal level with the nicotine, it's always going to keep going higher and higher and higher, and then you'll never be able to reach that once standard, normal level with the same methods that you use to reach it, like exercise and eating right. You have to go through like a kind of shit period when you do things like this. where your brain has to restructure around the release of dopamine.. You gotta to find new things to release dopamine, but nothing will really kind of release dopamine as on demand and as in much supply as these things will, especially because the percentageages are so high nowadays, like 5% fuck your brain up with one or two puffs you're addicted because you're kind of like, you get a more euphoric rush from vapes than you ever would have gone with cigarettes. to the point where, like, if you look up nicotine poisoning, to some of the symptoms are like feeling numb, numbness, dizziness,axia, fucking dry mouth. And those are the things that like like we looked forward to when using nicotine. Isn't that kind of messed up that we were looking forward to like, that was what we call the nicotine brush. And it was literally the poisonous effects of nicotine. I remember one time, like, this kid hit his fix in class, and then he he like got silent and he got pale white, and he almost fucking threw up, and he put his head down and he just stopped moving for like 10 minutes. That's not fucking cool, dude, that shit's actually, like, kind of scary scary now that I'm looking back at it and I'm like, fuck, I can't put this damn thing down. So there's logical fallacies that can exist within your mind, so it should fucking fucking take anything at 100%. without questioning it. It's kind of ignorant. without doing your due diligence to confirm its validity. That's kind of what happened there with the weed smoking guy. He thought weed was just like. this nothing thing that you could just like smoke, and like, you're just kind of like, hanging out with people and you're having a fun time. because the first time he smoked, he didn't really get that high. And that happens to everybody the first time you smoke. You don't really get that super duper high that everybody always is ranting and raving about with marijuana. You're like, I don't get it. It's just like a cigarette, maybe you've vaped nicotine before and you're like, oh, it's just like nicotine. It's, I don't understand why people are smoking this stuff. You know, sometimes some people smoke like tea leaves. Maybe you're like, you smoke an herbal cigarette and then you smoked weed for the first time. And you're like, they're exactly the same. Because it will feel that way the first time you smoke. You can't due diligence in the realization is that it's a fucking, um.. fucks with your neurochemistry. It's a hallucinogen. It's a fucking. psychotropic drug. Psychotropic. It fucks with your brain chemistry. And this was the second time smoking weed. He didn't really look into like, what does it do to the brain chemistry? What is its purpose, what is this and that? He was just kind of like,Fuck it, let me and just smoke. We all kind of do that. But.. me, I didn't do my due diligence either to be like, hey, this happens sometimes. as the person who was the experienced weed smoker in the group, I didn't do my due diligence either. I feel guilty about that to this day, because it's like.. I, I wasn't the only seasoned weed smoker in a car, too, by chance, everybody else was listening to the other fucking guy. A guy who I've never seen green out once in his life. They weren't listening to the guy that fucking greened out so many times that they're all like, "Why are you still smoke weed? They never asked that question because they knew it was in revenue sources. They didn't want to question it. They're like, he likes it. He likes passing out and throwing up all over himself. What I was trying to do was seem see my way through it, which eventually I did.. And that's why now I can smoke and I can go and do shit'cause I have a tolerance to it now. I knew that that would happen. eventually I wouldn't gain a tolerance. and I knew that I was smoking because I liked what it did to the neural chemistry. It kind of. It kind of regulated it, if that makes sense. But it also dregulated it at the same time. For those periods that it was regulating it for the duration of it being the high, it was dysregulating it for every time that I didn't have marijuana. So I would feel regulated for like six hours. But then I'd go to bed, I'd wake up and my brain is kind of like, oh, we're out of chemicals. Or like, I don't want to use the chemicals. So then it gets dysreggulated. And maybe it's not using many chemicals or maybe it's using a different kind of chemical more and more of them. So then I go back to the marijuana, because I'm training my brain to say, no, these ones, these chemicals, not cortisol. We want fucking. serotonin or whatever. I kind of knew that I was trying to rewire my brain because of the environment that I grew up in, I knew rewiring was necessary. But I don't think that that guy, when he was freaking out, knew that's what it would do. But I knew that's what it was doing, so I wanted to be like, stop, we got to give him a peaceful environment to rewire his brain and. It just didn't work out that way. So I don't really smoke weed people that have never smoked weed before anymore. things like one fucking bad experience to be like, yeah, I'm not gonna do this with people anymore.Cause it's fucking. Wow. I mean, now. I don't even want to say that. Knock on wood. Because I don't want to fucking smoke weed with somebody and then they go and they freak out. I don't even really like smoking weed with people, dude. Like, this, um. Dispensary opened up a smoking lounge, and I was super excited about it before it opened, but.. I don't go in there. I don't smoke in there. I did it, like, once. felt a little weird. tried to do it a second time. There was nobody in there, so I was like, "Fuck it, I'm leaving. I'm not gonna be that guy. that's just chilling in here, smoking.. I don't even know, like, what they really offer. You know what I'm saying? So..... It's weird. I get what they offer. I can't say that. I don't really do. I can use. If I buy wax, I can use their bongs there. It's like, okay, but I have my own. You know.. I don't know. Maybe they need to get a video game console up in there. That might make it more like. They have, like an arcade machine machine, but you gotta fucking stand up to do that shit. Like, not homie put in, like a TV where I can sit down. They have couches. Just put up a couple of big TVs, play some fucking. tourneys there. I don't know. But yeah, I don't even know why I started talking about this. That poop kind of burn broke up the chain of thinking. And now we're at like, everyone's been talking for an hour, so I'm gonna call it quits pretty soon. I don't remember, like, what was the inciting. Yeah, I want to go talk about that fucking thing. It's like, yeah. I knows are probably psychic, but her brains probably ignore it, because being psychic is really overwhelming in such a world with so many people and so many different ways of thinking.. Like, you can wire the brain to get to the same conclusion in many different ways. Fucking cat hair, dude. Oh my god. Always getting cat hairs in my mouth. Um.. You know, like, maybe somebody uses this part of their brain to remember and realize that 2 plus 2 equals four, but then, like, another person uses that part of their brain to realize that 2 plus 2 equals 4, but they're both realizing the same thing. They're just using different parts of their brain to realize it. I could kind of lead to a little bit of ambiguity, because we aren't always privy to help people people are like setting up their brain environments. So they could have set something up in a part of their brain that we don't normally go to. Like, we is the audience. I mean that, like, you and me, the watcher and me now. We don't normally go to this part of our brain for that purpose, we might go to that part of our brain when we're mad. They go to that part of their brain when they're happy. We go to interact with that that person, us being the audience, or me personally. I go to interact with that person. My anger circuit is lighting up because they're sending out signals from that part of the brain that I recognize as an anger circuit, But they're happy. Their neurochemical symbiosis wired it up in a way that releasing that chemical at this time at this philosophyity and that fucking spin makes them feel happy. But for me, if I release, you know, that chemical in that part of the brain, I get mad. So then I perceive it as this person's an angry person. But the reality is this person's just a a happy person. So the perception can be skewed based upon the internal vine environment. in the perspective of the viewer and of the viewed. But yeah, this fucking entire dude's life. Keeps serving as a reminder to me to do more, to be more, to be more participatory, to be more active, because if I was more active in his life,... I could have maybe understood things better a little bit deeper, too. So.. We both could have had a mutual kind of development development of understanding that could have led to the betterment of both of our lives.. But you really stirves as like a stark reminder that if I'm feeling like an inclination or like a feeling to go do something that I should probably do it.. You know, they always say there's, I'll do it tomorrow, but we don't know how many tomorrows that we always have. And this same guy, like, when he died, I thought about him in the exact moment that he died. And I was like, I should hit him up. But then I was like, nah, man, he like stopped talking to me. He was the person that didn't want to be friends with me. I'm not gonna hit him up. He has to hit me up. was he made that choice that he didn't want to be friends with me. Like, fuck that. I'm not gonna do that. And the next day, I found out he died, and I realized that I was thinking about him in the exact time around which he died. So that it's just fucking, I can't ignore it anymore, that there is. something that we transmit between one another and it can fuck with your head. I think that's really just all I want to say. I'm in the process of trying to unfuck my head, so I guess that's.. All I really got for today, guys, as always, keep it easy out there. Poof.