Adam Has a Podcast Episode 39; What is the point?

Do you ever ask yourself, what's the point? Like, you'll be doing something. And then suddenly you're like, what's the point? And then sometimes you stop doing the thing. Or sometimes you keep doing the thing, but you're kind of doing it hollow. What's that part of you that asks, what's the point? is that. who you are asking, what's the point? Or is it some kind of like external infiltrating force asking, what's the point? That sounds kind of woo woo, but we live in a world where. We have so many different kinds of influences constantly being blasted at us from our phone screens to our driving on the road. They now have like digital billboards and stuff like that so they can put more ads per square foot. really makes you stop and wonder, well, where is this influence of asking myself, what's the point coming from? Is an internal or an external influence? Once you kind of realize that there are internal things that. influence your mood, and there are also external things that influence your internal mood. There are internal things that can influence your external. I think it gets a little bit easier. But I'm not particularly sure, because even saying that sentence feels like a tangled mess of words that only a particularly monastic mind can decipher, that's not the point that I'm trying to accomplish. trying to make things so simple that the simplest of us can understand it. I think that's my point is I'm trying to lay things out so simply in the way that I understand them, in the way that I've been shown and have experienced reality, that it helps others say, oh, well, that's how I experience reality. I don't want others to feel as alone as I do because I remember. sitting in the middle of a baseball field, Fucking asking any entity that is powerful enough to hear my cries to come and help me. You don't know how alone you feel till you're sitting alone in the middle of a field yelling at the universe to to please just send some kind of spirit into your life because the strength that's being asked of you is too much to bear alone. Fucking craziest part is somebody did show up. My phone rang, and then somebody came and picked me up. And they're like, why do you have a rosary? And I was like, I was crying. That's when I ask myself sometimes, what is the point? You know, what's the what's the actual point if I'm asking for a burning bush, but I get gorrhea instead. It's a different kind of burning bush, but not the kind I was looking for is. Is that the point that maybe he's already, you know, the bush has already been burnt. You don't need another burning bush. It's already happened. Any kind of begging or questioning for another burning bush is like an insult almost to faith or hope or whatever. because the bush has already been burnt. You gotta believe that that bush, fucking 3,000 years ago, burst it into flames. And the more you fucking ask for your own bush, to burst into flames, you might as well be committing apostasy or heresy or whatever they call it, against your own faith. You might as well be tossing your faith out the window each time you ask for your own burning bush. And I have been given a lot of burning bushes throughout my life, to the point where I have to stop and I have to ask, okay, well, what is the point? When I was younger, I would say, like, well, the point is to get everybody to get along, to share laughter, and to help us all realize that we're having a shared experience right now in the best, most happiest way possible. My entire theory was that like laughter and happiness is the best emotions to feel, so why would we ever try to feel anything else? But then, of course, the world comes along and tries to make you everything feel everything else except those two feelings that you've attached yourself to. And if we want to look at it through monastic or Buddhistic lenses, then you could say, well, it was my attachment to those two emotions, happiness and laughter. It caused me to have so much distance between happiness and laughter for some time. is that I only learned to understand myself through the lens of somebody who uses levity that I never understood myself as somebody who uses seriousness. But now I'm somebody that can flit between levity and seriousness at a moment's notice, because that's what the world has required of me. I want to be lighthearted, but the world requires a heavy, firm grasp. So I have to learn this balancing act of how to be firm, yet also light at the same time. makes me wonder, like, what is the point? I'm always doing this dainty work. I I like doing small little things like jewelry and things like that, but I have the strength to do more, but I always choose to do things that take d dexterity and not brute force, because I know that I have brute force and power. What I'm very unsure of is my ability to be dexterous, to be precise, to have precision. That's why I like making jewelry and stuff like that, because I can I can put a pattern into a bracelet. and I can count precisely, okay, this one has 22 beats. This, you know, I have a pendant that I I made, and it just the way that I positioned the stone cuts the light in such a way that it looks like the stone is illuminated from the inside. And it's so cool. I made the pendant to sell, but it ended up being so cool that I'm like, damn, I don't want to sell it now. And it's one of those things that, like, um I'm asking my own self, well, shit, what was the point? Because I bought the supplies and I bought the stuff and I've made something super cool and amazing, but now that it comes time to let go of my attachment, I forgot the point or I don't I don't want to act in the same way that I set out to act. that the point isn't the same now that I see what I've created, is so beautiful that I don't want to give it up. Maybe that's it. And then I sit here and I wonder, and I'm like, "Well, what is the point? You know, you can make fine jewelry, you can build shelves and things like that.. You can do heavy duty carpentry, and you know how to put up drywall and all these different kinds of things, but also, you know how to mess around with technology and meditate and well, what is the point of learning all of these different things? I know fucking alchemy. Just because when I was a teenager, I was like, it wouldn't it be cool to learn alchemy? And now what's the point? I have I have a puzzle. I was able to make a really cool puzzle out of it. I sat down, and a puzzle just flowed out of me. But what is the true point of the puzzle besides to be a puzzle? The only purpose of that puzzle is to drive you insane. If you're trying to figure out the puzzle, there's some pieces that you can't figure out unless you're absolutely cracked. You're like, you're crazy. That's part of the putt, like, my, I can see the point where the part of the puzzle was to distract those people that are always, you know,.. trying to put together their own puzzle? Well, here's a puzzle for you to solve. Here you go, you guys. The gossips that are always trying to like play games games of telephone and piece everything together, well, here's a fucking puzzle for you guys to piece together if you want, and if you can't solve it, then you can't solve what my subconscious can do when I'm zoning out. Like that's the gap in that kind of understanding of like how deeply I understand chi in fucking alchemy and also interconnectedness of all of these different kinds of languages and forms of archaic science into the more modernistic forms of science, like chemistry and how it relates directly to alchemy is insane. Like one of the things that you can learn is that is that there isn't an alcheical symbol for aluminum because aluminum didn't exist to the alchemists. There wasn't a way to extract aluminum until like the 1800s. And I believe that it was so difficult to extract aluminum at first that Napoleon Bonaparte had a set of aluminum dishes that they claimed were more valuableable than gold because it was so difficult to get aluminum. But nowadays, aluminum is the most abundant material in the earth's crust, and we can extract it with zero, you know, difficulty, not zero difficulty, but you know exactly what I mean. Leave me wondering, like, okay, something that was valued as the most rarest valuable metal in the world is now something that is commonplace to us. So what's the point? Like, even Tuten Common was buried with a dagger made of meteorite. And if you think about it to them, that was the only source of steel of the quality. And even to us, too, we can't exactly recreate the same crystal patterns that is found in meteoric metal. So it's even still a complicated technology and material to us now that we cannot recreate here on Earth. back in Tutenhammon's time, a piece of this landed, and it was so valuable that he was buried with it as like a spear from the heavens. And you would think it was only decorative because meteorite is brittle and stuff like that. But now steel and nickel are like the frameworks, literally, the frameworks of our modern society, because any time you pour a concrete foundation, you got those steel rebars that are sticking into the ground that actually holds it to the earth. So then I really start kind of wondering, you know, like, what what is the point? They say that, like, we were. The most crockpot theory they have is they say that we were developed by the Anunaki to harvest gold and that now that like, I saw something in the news that China has discovered the largest gold to deposit. And they were like, that's the Ani reserves. They're coming to pick it up. Don't touch it. Like, we were made to refine gold from the crust of the earth. Like, there's definitely a more efficient method, like, using a quantum magnet that you can dial in to magnetically attract only gold particles than fucking bioengineering an entire species, like nanite creatures to extract the gold. But when you look at that, well, you could say, well, the point of that is just to be fun. Like that theory, the point of that one is just to be so fucking outlandish and funky that it's fun. But some people take that super seriously. I'm saying I'm laughing at it right now, but there's some people that would be insulted that I'm laughing at it. They're like, this guy's not taking our an fucking theory seriously. But that makes me wonder, like still once again, like, shit, oh, fuck, well, what is the point? Because I'm I'm going around trying to make people laugh and stuff, but then we have people that are like, why are you laughing do Anunaki? This is serious stuff. And I'm like, okay, even if the Anunaki aren't real, up, what are we going to do about it? What's the point of getting up in arms, dude? They clearly have things and genetic engineering to such a level that they could just drop a spore on the earth and just cleanse it of us. If we're really that fucking like, engineered by another race, then they definitely got the blueprints to our DNA and how to undo our DNA. So, like, if they really wanted to, it doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter, dude. There's no way that you can inoculize yourself from it. It's just the way that it is. And if you can't, like accept that, oh my God, an alien species might wipe us out at any moment, then you also can't accept that, oh my God, a meteor. It doesn't even have to be a sentient species. It could just be an angry hot rock hurled from the other side of the universe. You need to just say, how do you even know the rock is angry Just because it's going fast and heading right for us? That's all I know. That's all I need to attribute anger to this thing. It's hot coming right for me. So it's like when you could have an alien invader like a fucking meteorite the size of Manhattan, really start wondering, well, what is the point? What is the point of being scared about aliens and stuff like that? Because, you know what? If there are aliens in our atmosphere, they're probably shooting down the meteors that killed dinosaurs and shit like that. They're probably helping us to agree, even if we are the minor bots. And then, you know, there's another theory that we weren't supposed to gain sentience, but then we ate magic mushrooms. And that's why like magic mushrooms were like worshipped in ancient Egypt, people say. And that's why they say, like, the Anunki had to convene because we became conscious beings and they had to form a tree treaty of Earth alliances where they had it's sort of like how Star Trek works, where they have non-interference. So it's like, even if they are operating off of a Star Trek fucking, you know, um rule book, then still, what is the point of getting scared about aliens? And maybe right now I'm sounding really pro- alien. But I'm not trying to get District 9 up in this shit. You know what I'm saying? There's a point where I'm just using aliens as a fixture to talk about the point, because I don't know what the point is. You know? And aliens is a good outlandish way to demonstrate a very outlandish point. But when you're just sitting here looking out the window and you're seeing the breeze blow through the trees and you see the crow bullying the squirrel away from the pile of breadcrumbs on the ground, and you're like, "What the hell, crow? Stop bullying that squirrel. And the crow doesn't listen, and the squirrel has to run away. I' I'm sitting here in the window, like, what's the point? Doesn't make no sense, does it now? But it also makes a lot of sense at the same time. And how can you derive a point out of something that makes no sense in a lot of sense at the same time? It's inherently difficult now, isn't it? So I always come back to it. What's the point here? And now I'm even pushing it a step further is what is the part of me that's asking what is the point? And what is the purpose of asking what is the point? simply so I can have something to talk about, something to digest, something to regurgitate the point. Okay, the point is, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Something to centralize around. Well, if that's the case, then the point only matters as long as I'm. recording. As long as the laptop is open and the recorder is on. Is that the only time that the point matters? We're trying to find the point. I feel as though as I'm always trying to find the point. It's, it's never a process I really get to record. And in the process of trying to dredge it out of my mind, it gets less pretty than how it operates and exists within the framework of my brain. In my brain really pretty. It sounds real nice, but as I'm talking, I got a cold, my throat hurts. I'm thirsty, I'm sweaty, there's a lot of stuff going on outside. and I'm starting to get lost. And I say, well, what is the point?Cause I got a cough, and a cough seems like it would be really good for me. It seems like it would knock out some of that phlegmids in my throat, but I don't want to cough while I'm recording. So I'm wondering, am I holding myself back from something that's good for me in order to do something that's subpar for me? I don't know, how good is coughing in comparison to making a recording that I can have sit on my hard drive for later so I can be lazy? That's really what I like to do. I like to rack up a whole bunch and say, well, that one's good. That one could use some work. This one is postable how it is. And then I just go, okay, all right, let me sit on it till the time comes that I'm going to post it. And then some of them end up surprising me. I go, wow, that was really intuitive, and that was really sharp, and that really applies to this point in time six months later, and then it didn't apply to six months ago. That's what I like to do. So for me to sit here and say, well, what's the point? I don't mean it in the context of this. What's the point here? What's the point of recording? I mean, the point in all of it. And what's that part that asks, what's the point? I don't know. What it up to you, I guess. The doues, you eat douches.